Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow. Or not.

Snow is a four-letter word in this town.  Nothing can strike more fear into the heart of a Vancouver commuter than the word SNOW and the media knows it.

That’s why they don’t just forecast or predict it, they WARN US about its impending arrival.  Snow alerts, snow advisories and, of course, the ominous snow warnings are implied, mentioned and even yelled from the media rooftops.  The Snow is Coming, the Snow is Coming….something along the lines of the apocalypse. 

This would be OK if the snow were reliably predicted.  It seems that most of the time, it somehow arrives unexpectedly like federal funding for a megaproject.  Somehow, despite all the satellites, weather stations and weathermen holding up their fingers to the wind, it often snows when rain was expected.  “We didn’t see that temperature drop coming.”  Uh huh.  Temperatures dropping during Canadian winters are really rare!

We simply can’t deal with it in Vancouver and that means we can’t drive in it, but mostly we seem vastly underserved in the clearing department.  Despite the tax load that we carry, we seem unable to ever have enough salting/sanding/clearing ability.  We also seem loath to borrow equipment from others all around us.  Instead, we hide inside and refuse to come out.

In Toronto, even if it snows, you’re expected to come to work.  Even if it snows and the temperature remains at minus 40 for weeks. Not so much in Vancouver where even if you only have to travel a few treacherous blocks, it is almost frowned upon to leave your house.  People express deep concern over your bravery if you actually venture out, like you were trying to be a hero.  God forbid you should have something important to do…. like work.

That brings me to the endless debate over the need for snow tires in this climate.  Many believe that All-Season radials will do the job in a Vancouver snow, given the fact that temperatures rarely fall below -2 at best.

Others have taken the opportunity to trumpet the media hysteria and declare that even in Vancouver, it should be mandatory for all to have snow tires on their vehicles at great expense.  All the better to avoid the 85% of other drivers who haven’t a clue as to how to climb a slight grade in 2 cm of white stuff.

I feel badly for the poor bus drivers in this town who not only have to wield huge articulated busses down streets that are coated with snow and possibly black ice, but they also have to avoid the majority of drivers who haven’t a clue as to what to do and seem intent on driving 20 km when a single centimeter has fallen.  Like we don’t have enough gridlock already.

The kids from places like Calgary and Winnipeg double over in laughter at Vancouverites dealing with snow.  In places where snow blowers are mandatory because mere mortals can’t shovel that high, the rest of the country guffaws at our unease, and I don’t blame them.

On the plus side, if it does snow hard enough and often enough, the city does take on a more peaceful and much brighter air to it.  It’s quieter (no heavy trucks on the road clearing much of anything save Highway #1.  I think it’s called that because it’s the one and only road that actually receives any attention.)

Not being able to deal with snow seems so…un-Canadian to me.  Seriously people…learn how to correct a skid.  Keep some kind of kitty litter in your car, should you need traction on the road.  If you’re that scared of the snow, use the kitty litter to poop in.  It beats using your pants.