My Mom said I was born three days early. THAT’S how long this has been going on. Doesn’t seem to matter what it is anymore. I kinda need it to happen, well, I won’t say instantly, but RIGHT NOW would be good. It’s like I didn’t get the patience gene.
Waiting in a doctor’s office….any kind of doctor’s office makes me nervous. Even if it’s just for a check-up. Even if I KNOW it won’t hurt. I can barely stay within the confines of my own skin waiting for a mammogram these days. The last time I waited for test results, I lost 10 pounds from nerves. Mind you it was over a very long week. Thanks doctor for NOT calling me.
I can hardly stand to wait in line for airport security anymore. Makes me nervous even though I KNOW I’m not doing anything illegal. Ditto land crossings at the border. Simply driving up to the booth makes my heart pound in a way that it probably shouldn’t.
Waiting for airplanes in airport lounges just bores me silly anymore. Too much time spent waiting for an airplane gives the imagination all kinds of time to conjure up bad images in one’s head.
And other than the elderly, the physically impaired or those requiring serious medical intervention, how much time do people actually NEED to get themselves in a seated position in an airplane? For me, 1 minute tops. That includes everything from putting my passport away, getting all forms of entertainment out and at the ready, keeping my coat ready in case of possible frostbite while enroute or ditching my coat to keep from being squeezed to death, taking a pill, checking for the nearest exit AND the second nearest exit, shoving my purse under the seat in front of me, clicking my seatbelt shut and folding my hands politely on my lap, READY FOR TAKEOFF.
Apparently, others have not yet mastered this land speed record. And so I wait. Wait for those to assemble themselves. Wait for the flight attendant to declare all passengers accounted for and obedient, wait for the pilot to flip all switches, wait for the door to shut, for the baggage people to exit, for the ramp to disengage, for the seat belt instruction to end, for the air traffic controllers to give the green light…wait, wait, wait. All for good reasons mind you, but the waiting is endless. And that’s if you take off ON TIME! Don’t even get me started with airport delays.
Christmas? Forget it! I’ve never seen a present that shouldn’t be opened immediately. My poor mother had to hide all the presents, not only for Christmas, but for my birthday as well which falls quite soon afterwards, lest I spoil all the hard-won surprise.
Waiting for almost all Vancouver drivers to recognize what an advanced green arrow means and actually begin their left turn makes me crazy. Is it wrong to want to ram the cars ahead of me to help them understand the basic rules of the road? Thank God I don’t own a Hummer.
Waiting for the poor grocery store employee to attend my self-serve machine malfunction drives me utterly mad. Having incurred this problem one too many times, I don’t wait like the average Canadian…all polite on the outside but seething on the inside. Oh no. The instant the machine calls for an attendant, I start waving my arms, yelling yoo hoo, or HELP, LOUDLY! I’m sure the guy manning the security camera is killing himself laughing. I’ve even taken to doing it on behalf of others lest I have to wait in line another half hour while the poor $12/hour person is unaware that a problem exists.
Just as an aside, if the self-serve checkout machines don’t want me to use recyclable bags, why do the grocery stores keep selling them? But I digress.
Years ago, I opted to have a very minor day surgery medical procedure performed. I waited 4 hours for a 15-minute procedure and at least once every hour, I had to convince myself not to bolt for the door. They wanted me there 3 hours prior (to weigh me and give me a pill). I didn’t think 3 hours would be required to weigh me…it wasn’t like I needed to be hoisted by crane or anything. A simple step up onto the scale was all that was necessary. And as luck would have it that day, they were running late in the operating room, which added another hour. 4 hours of trying not to hyperventilate. Trust me, there are only so many Reader’s Digest magazines in the world that one can pretend to be reading.
At last when they started to do something, anything … I calmed down. It seems that once we actually get the show on the road, that’s all I need. A simple end to the waiting. That’s all I ask for. Let the waiting end and the show begin. Even if it scares the hell out of me. Better to be scared while actually doing something than not.
“Perhaps there is no agony worse than the tedium I experienced waiting for Something to Happen.”
Got a comment? Don’t make me wait!
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