How I know I've reached middle age

If you're looking for a signpost that you're half way to the end, look no further.  This is how I know that time is indeed marching on:

1. You're now working with people who were born the year you graduated from College.  This is quite horrifying.  It’s like talking to someone who didn’t actually watch Neil Armstrong land on the Moon.  In fact, I’m becoming surrounded by people who weren’t alive for that planetary milestone.  Elton John is an old man to these folks.  I’m not sure how this happened. 
2. You find yourself declining alcohol and choosing water...for health reasons.  Breast cancer, weight management….dehydration!  Where does it end?  Why is it that no matter how much water you drink, your body wants more water?  Just how much time can one spend in the bathroom in a single day?  My kidneys have never been cleaner.
3. After paying almost $1,000 for glasses the last time, you hesitate to call the optometrist.  AND you consider such horrible thoughts as laser eye surgery.  Having endured laser surgery to my tongue earlier this year, I don’t relish the thought with my eyes.  After placing no less than 5 needles full of novacane directly into my tongue, I can honestly say I experienced no pain. But the smell of my own flesh burning was a little off-putting.
4. You pay almost $1,000 for glasses and still see better close up without them.  Seriously, what’s up with that?
5. I'm hot, I'm cold, I'm hot, I'm cold.  Bright side: at least this is better than the usual, "I'm freezing!" Yep, call it Inner Global Warming, things are a little less chilly, but only slightly so for now.  Looking forward to a little heat.  At least I’ll get to wear more of my summer wear. 
6.  You find yourself tuning into CBC Radio for no apparent reason.  I’m truly a latecomer to this form of Candianna.  Didn’t dial into the Mother Corp until just this year.  If it wasn’t for a lack of intelligent conversation elsewhere, I might never have tuned in.  I guess having spent most of my early youth with CBC Television (which had the children’s market entirely cornered), I should spend my middle years with CBC Radio and keep them company.
7. You only book into hotels that contain either the word “spa” or “resort” in their name; preferably both.
8.  You find yourself fantasizing about what $20,000 in plastic surgery could accomplish.  Just one or two simple procedures … and then I realize I can’t even fathom laser eye surgery.
9. You cannot remember more than one password.  And you get annoyed when the computer asks you to come up with another one every three months!  You find yourself telling the nice people at the bank that no matter what PIN number they sent you, you must change it.  All to the same number.
10. I cannot remember people’s names.  If I meet you alone, there’s a 50/50 chance that I’ll remember your name.  Someday.  If I meet you with a group of people, it’s hopeless.