Remember when I said back in February, that we were in the
home stretch of winter? I think I
may have misspoken. Apparently,
we’re in the summer of my discontent, or as I like to call it, Global Cooling.
The entire planet is experiencing Global Warming. We’re in the deep freeze. Vancouver should start a new marketing
campaign, “tired of feeling like an egg frying on the sidewalk? Come to
Vancouver where you’re guaranteed to grow moldy in 2 short days!”
The SUMMER temperatures here have yet to venture above 20
degrees. Polar fleece is always at
the ready. If rain is not actually
falling from the sky, it threatens to at every moment.
I know many who are spending the Canada Day long-weekend in
Las Vegas trying to warm up. To hell
with patriotism, people need heat!
40 degrees Celsius should take care of that nicely. Why I’m not there is anyone’s
guess. I’m quite sure I will be
before this summer is done.
This is the second long-weekend blown out by the weather
with only two more to go. I’m not
hopeful. Meteorologists have
blamed everything from El Nino to the Russians and frankly, they’re running out
of excuses. Last summer,
weathermen were getting heckled in grocery stores. Personally, I believe they
are compulsive liars, trying to pretend that sunshine is coming to keep people
from jumping off bridges.
Coincidentally, the bad summers started here when I
purchased expensive new patio furniture.
Maybe it’s cursed. Maybe I
should have bought the cheap stuff at Walmart. If I thought that burning it
would end the problem, I’d ask for a match, except that I like the chairs so
much!
We endure such crappy winters…is it too much to ask for a
decent summer? And by decent, I
mean actual sunshine and warmth.
The kind of day where I don’t have to turn on the seat heaters in the
car or wear polar fleece with my flip flops.
On one of my forays into the U.S., I purchased a summer
dress. What was I thinking? What I was thinking was that I could
wear it with a jacket over top. No
such luck. I have no intention of
becoming a human popsicle.
If while you’re reading this, your weather outside is blue
sky with puffy white clouds and shirtsleeve temperatures….go to hell. Or bring hell here…we could use it.
