Not me baby

I don’t know what you’re all up to these days, but I’m spending every waking hour from now until the end of the year focusing of one thing, and one thing only.  Trying not to get sick.

Because I have a very expensive date with the Sun coming up and nothing is going to ruin it, least of all a pesky virus. Even though I’ve been successful in keeping illness at bay, you can never be complacent about such things during the Great Canadian Winter when we’re all cooped up together like chickens.

I’m doing all the things your Mother ever advised you to do during cold and flu season….washing my hands, getting plenty of rest, eating my vegetables, ingesting plenty of fluids, making sure that I get enough vitamin C, calcium and probiotics…all in an attempt to ward off illness prior to my departure. I’m even limiting my social engagements to keep from getting run down during this busy time of year. 

I’m hibernating, of sorts, and frankly I can’t wait to do more of it.  This woman was not made to leap into action during the dark days of winter.  My time is filled keeping warm, sitting in front of the fireplace sipping hot tea and gazing deeply into the soft light of our beautifully decorated tree. Quietude prevails in my world.

The rest of you can shop till you drop, party like it’s 1999 and infect each other with good cheer and flu viruses.  I’ll be hunkering down waiting for the solstice signaling the return of my beloved Sun, and getting ready to meet it in the sunny Caribbean.

Santa Management problems

Why is Christmas the only holiday that seems to need saving?  In all the Christmas movies someone …whether human or Muppet, needs to somehow save Christmas, usually by getting some kind of message to Santa on his biggest night of the year. They always seem to be somewhat apologetic, but that never stops them.

Frankly, if I were Santa, I’d be a little steamed about this by now.  Think about it.  364 days of the year, the Big Guy’s got plenty of time on his hands to deal with just such a crisis.  But on the one night of the year where he’s REALLY, REALLY busy, suddenly everyone needs to get in touch and the ONLY person who can save the day is Santa. No delegation will ever do in these scenarios.  Why is that?  Does Santa not have a right-hand Elf to turn to for just these kind of emergencies?  Do these folks every think to get in touch in August?

Personally, I’d be disconnecting my mobile devices if I were Santa.  I’d instruct my elves to hold all my calls while I made my rounds.  And then around the end of January, after having some well-earned recovery time on the annual vacation, I’d be sending some carefully worded messages to the people of Earth about their utter lack of time management/planning skills.  Not that it wouldn’t happen all over again the very next year, because the one thing we know for sure is that Earthlings are pretty thick in the head.

Every year, it’s the same thing. You plan ahead.  You check your list.  Twice. Find out who’s naughty and who’s nice.  And then some nutbar you don’t know starts second-guessing your lifelong ability to separate the wheat from the chafe and ends up having a panic attack on your busiest night. And somehow you’re in a crisis that frankly, you didn’t create, but seem to have to respond to all the same.  It’s enough to put the best of leaders right over the edge.

A little forward thinking…that’s all Santa’s asking for.  If Christmas needs to be saved this year, get the request in NOW.  Or as Santa calls it, The Night Before Bedlam.